from the election to the war, from who’s coming for dinner for the holidays to should we sell our apartment and find one with a shelter on the same floor, from do we stuff the refrigerator to do we make reservations, from do we escape the country and save our kids from the army or do we prepare our kids for specific army positions? Do we keep looking for relatives in the US who can help us reacclimate, or do we try to get those relatives with Israeli citizenship to come to vote in the elections? is it worth ironing the dress for thursday evening or just let it stay in the closet for another year until there’s something worth celebrating?
i wonder how many Israelis are watching Eurovision tonight. Perhaps Trump will declare war tomorrow – perhaps the Hamas will rebuild and reinvads us tomorrow – perhaps Hizballah will get Syria involved. We’ve also got the worst of global warning ahead, a whole country traumatized, and who knows what’s going to happen to our economy.
And we’re watching Eurovision – the most empty-minded show to capture universal attention.
My own weekend was filled with grandchildren. Four on the way to the army.
Maybe it’s no wonder that I can’t keep the news straight. Things happen so fast it is almost impossible to keep up. And sometimes, like yesterday, we think we can operate at the same speed. Like yesterday, we started out up north for a shiva call. A good friend I’ve known for almost fifty years had passed and there was no way I could not pay respects to her wonderful children. For many years our entire past was linked, and even though the distance became too much to see each other, I always planned to see them all, after the war. It was a long ride and an emotional meeting and my day should have ended there, but on the way back I remembered the wonderful lady in Binyamina who opened a little shopping center a while ago. Not only the granddaughter of a wonderful Yiddish poet, but also the daughter of a school friend of Ezi’s mother. We got her out of the grocery storeroom and had a great visit. She reminded me that in our situation we have to live small lives. (I will never forget that line)
We should have gone home from there, but there was an IKEA on the way …
So we barely made it to the lecture at the university and I was still munching on dessert when the zoom I had to lead began.
This is not a way to grow old, and it is not surprising that I woke in the middle of the night in neurological agony, and the stuff I take for pinched nerves demands food as well.
So today I did not function…much. And I hope I’ll be a better reporter tomorrow.
Probably the kitschiest event in Europe, and yet, one of the most fascinating, the Eurovision has been overwhelming our local media for weeks. Even though many of the strongest countries withdrew because of Israel – Spain, Ireland, Slovenia, Netherlands, Iceland – the fact that Israel made the finals is extraordinary. I have to add that even I watched it – and watched the boos from a portion of the audience. My immediate response was “you had your chance in ’48.”
i usually try to write at the end of the day, when all my defences are down and I’m half asleep. I talk about the first thing that evokes this city. So tonight I’m writing about something i shouldn’t talk about. my neighbor. she’s the daughter of the woman I used to write about – a holocaust survivor. both of them are quite mad but the daughter has become very agressive and in her rages, threatens to kill me. In my despair I’ve spoken to the local policeman but he says she’s just crazy and I should ignore it. I know she is serious. And I know there is so much violence in our society right now – because of the lack of authority, organization, clarity, etc. she has reason to fear even me.
The guy who sweeps the floor appears cool to me. He’s well-dressed, neat, good-looking. But when he sits in the barber’s chair next to mine I have the sense that a puppy has come close for protection, and I start to talk with him.
It’s a problem for me because I’m not good at small talk and I have a tendency to move in too close for comfort. He has a tattoo on his arm that says “to be or not to be.” I ask him what it means, and he says, it’s Shakespeare, so, always an english teacher, I ask, but what does it mean. He says “to decide whether to join the world or stay inside your head.”
i think he got up and went somewhere else at that point and left me thinking this guy has got a serious case of PTSD.
Then I had the best haircut in years and was so happy I forgot to say goodbye to him.
How could part of the country be so thrilled in coming back to normality when so many are so damaged by the war?
It is impossible for me to accept the fact that the violent settlers in the west bank are my people. It is much easier to believe that the Arab inhabitants belong to me.
Since Oct 7, 2023, I have been opening the NYTimes every day and starting with the front page photographs. They are always of destruction primarily in Gaza, Iran and Lebanon. I check the photo in the hope that some of the horrifying damage to this country would also be acknowledged. But we don’t take photos of destruction, don’t share information that could aid for further military agression. And now that we are considered murderers, I doubt we will ever make the front page. I hope we don’t.