The continuation of my diary from April 2002 to today.  For archives press old diary 

October, 2020.

since this new site has a sense of self-significance that intimidates me at the moment, i’m going to try to be more representational.  i don’t know how i can ‘write to the moment, ‘ as Henry Fielding’s Shamela called it when she wrote things like “ Mrs. Jervis and I are just in Bed, and the Door unlocked; if my Master should come — Odsbobs! I hear him just coming in at the Door. You see I write in the present Tense, as Parson Williams says. ” i mean it’s a total fake to pretend to be immediate, because you can’t both “live and utter it” as Thoreau noted.  Either you live, or you note it down in passing – sloppy, mispelled, without transitions or absolute clarity or you polish and refine.  i don’t think i’m honest when i polish and refine.  do you?