it is very hard for me to read poems that I think need repairs. Today there was a poem that appeared on poem-a-day. I couldn’t read it without tinkering.
With great trepidation I’m going for my own fourth vaccine today. I’m one of the last of my friends, but Ezi says I handled the app awkwardly, and that’s why I have to go to a tent in Hadar Yosef.
I don’t know why my fear is aftereffects – everyone else but Ezi seems to have no symptoms after. I guess it’s because I have a launch on Monday, a class on Tuesday, and an event in Tiberias on Wednesday.
And a lunch right after the shot.
I am muchmore passive than my friends in Tel Aviv.
i must have sent this to a thousand people after I was told to organize the whole thing. Then I discovered that the publisher had set it up for 6 and not 7. I have never worked with such unreliable people before and I will do everything to make this right, but all my plans to use this event to put the Yiddish writers on the map have stalled for the moment.
Well, the government is giving up telling us what to do and we have to test ourselves. And we don’t trust ourselves to follow any kind of rule. After all, we’ve founded this country on the fact that we’re free – our desire has always been to be a free people in a free land. So we have no way of knowing if people have checked themselves for infection, which means that now that Ezi is probably becoming immune, we have to stay home. I fear the herd will have to leave us behind. I get a vaccine on Saturday and maybe we won’t have the strength to back out of cholent with friends after that.
I usually find myself turning the page or changing the channel when the topic is sexual harassment. Not because I’m not interested, but because it makes me remember. Not one incident, but innumerable incidents I really don’t want to recall. Most were involved with bosses or people with power over my situation, doctors, editors, drivers, etc. Most were not overwhelming in their use of physical force. All of them were refused, but all of them creep into my nightmares.
But although I do not find it possible to join demonstrations and only once signed a declaration disapproving the rights of arts to total sexual freedom (which got me cut off my column in Ha’aretz ) I sympathize wherever possible with victims of sexual pressure, and I’ve interviewed about it in the past, but I’ve never been totally active against it. And in those days you did not complain.
The root canal I’ve been having seems to be taking its toll on me. The first treatment was supposed to be the worst, but I managed to keep going through the day. The second time, a few days later, was a bit harder. I started forgetting simple things – like whether I have a zoom tonight or not. Today I’m forgetting everything else – i even forgot my password for a few hours.