Tshuva means repentance – it also means answer. And tomorrow is the sabbath of tshuva, that comes before the day of atonement. The reading includes Hosea 14, and I’m quoting what the Lord says from the NIV:
I will be like the dew to Israel; he will blossom like a lily. Like a cedar of Lebanon he will send down his roots; 6 his young shoots will grow. His splendor will be like an olive tree, his fragrance like a cedar of Lebanon. 7 People will dwell again in his shade; they will flourish like the grain, they will blossom like the vine— Israel’s fame will be like the wine of Lebanon.
This morning I was filled with hope. After gym and grocery shopping, we went to the local strip mall and discovered a guy giving away free resistance shirts of all kinds. There was even one for me that I have been trying to find for months: Without Democracy there is no Academy. Of course it’s classic de Toqueville, but it means so much more coming at this moment.
In a booth opposite the t-shirt table, the Chabad was stopping women to give away sabbath candles and to get men to put on tfilim. My kids have complained about being offered candy and even ice cream in exchange for saying a prayer outside their school and I have often wondered at why that is permitted. “Oh,” somone said, “That’s because the mayor got 6 votes from the extremists in exchange for allowing them the booths.” I had been wavering about the mayor – so many problems in the city of late. That settled it – I’m not voting for the mayor next month.
Another reason for feeling optimistic. Maybe I’ll be able to walk on the sidewalk without getting run over. Maybe I won’t get squeezed into a deal to rebuild our apartment building against my will.
Every time I hear Yariv Levin speak I get depressed and scared. I understand that most people do not sign petitions because they’re afraid of the information being used against them, and I remember how my father was terrified that I read about communism when McCarthy was destroying the lives of many famous people because they had signed a document. My brother bought the magazine, USSR, and when my father saw it, he warned him, “They watch the newstands!”
I was worried about hanging up a sign from my balcony that there would be retribution, but today I woke up and decided to do it. Stay hopeful, it says. About as innocent a sign as could be, but I don’t see many signs around, and it’s not for want of support for the opposition.
Once I realized that we’re in it for the long haul, and we have to succeed, I let go.
Here I was about to talk about art as a form of escape, and the post disappeared before my eyes. I was trying to upload pictures from the exhibit by Ilya and Emilia Kabakov in the museum. It’s about surviving in the face of a society that would get rid of you if they knew you existed.
and my mind kept bringing me back to the spirituals about sprouting wings and escaping from a terrible situation. I remember thinking about it when in high school I got put into the wrong art class and instead of learning about the old masters I wass in shop class as the only white person, the only girl, And for me it was great fun, but for everyone else in the class their future was determined and limited.
That’s what our future will be – if we make it.
There are two reasons why we may not. One is war.
The other is the Saudi deal. We may have a great future if this deal goes through, but this may also be a check-mate. I mean, how can we refuse the offer? And how can we believe the Saudis won’t use the atomic weapons they will be able to make?
This is one of those days I spend on footnotes. That is, the footnotes to the piece i did on Kurt Gerron. I’ve lost the sources and blissfully busy myself with trivia while Bibi tries to sell bullshit to the UN. How wonderful to be so distracted, and since the library has had so few funds for so long, the books have to be ordered from kindle or whatever. So it’s all here, in my bed. And my dentist appointment isn’t until late afternoon. What joy.
You feel it in the air – something’s wrong. Okay, there’s always something going on here – but this time Ezi says “Jenin – something’s happening in Jenin.”
And indeed there’s a mess there. We’re arresting terrorists – 3 dead, 12 injured. All the arrested suspects have been released.
And Gaza too is stirring.
Me I am always expecting battle, terrorism, knives, whatever, etc. At the same time it is very rare that I feel danger from individuals. I pretty much love everyone I meet. A strange combination.
Only recently have I been beginning to understand how my life changed because of the Yom Kippur War. I haven’t seen the film of Golda that came out now, even though I love the star Helen Mirren because of the trauma. I think I’ll be talking about it all week.