I’m breathless. Not the way I was a few years ago when the symptom sent me to a cardiologist, but because we seem to be dancing at a number of weddings. First, the demonstrations and the visits with displaced people and relatives of hostages continue, and at the same time the concerts and plays have begun again full scale. And what of all those friends and families we haven’t seen since the war began?
breathless – Feb 17, 2024 Read Post »
Az men lebt, derlebt men. If you’re alive, you’ve lived through, they say in Yiddish. And we live through terrible things every day. Today was a shooting at a bus stop that killed 2 people – maybe more will emerge. And of course the fighting in the north is intensifying, and the fighting the south continues. I anticipate much more lethal rockets from the north and intensification from the east.
But for tonight we’re having a dinner party.
living through – feb 16, 2024 Read Post »
When the families of the hostages first set up their camp in front of the museum I went there to speak with them, to comfort them. And I found myself speechless. I bought necklaces for everyone and was silent. Then I met friends who had kids in the army and hadn’t slept for weeks. i could barely comfort, but at least made an effort. Then I met Arab friends who hastened to move away from any conversation about the war. I felt that way too.
Today I heard a woman on the radio who lost 4 grandchildren and 3 great-grandchildren and a few other relatives when their house was bombed in Gaza. She lives in Israel and can barely communicate with her son-in-law because the connections are bad so she knows her daughter is okay but she can’t reach her. “What do you think of those people who say that everyone in Gaza is Hamas?” the reporter asks her. Like all of us, she answers, she just wants this nightmare to be over. She lived in Gaza for many years – before there was Hamas – and she never found the people to be more violent than others. May everyone go home and live in peace, she concludes….
sympathy – feb 15, 2024 Read Post »
You are a shower of gold
and withhold
the weight of your beauty
Though all my skin is touched
with gentle shine
gold so fine
sifts through flesh like lace
leaving no trace
of the fullness of knowing
until long after
the sowing
You mean there are Arabs in Israel? An old friend in England who hasn’t been in touch with me for a while. Let me see, I thought for a moment. On each of the three channels we watch there are news reporters and moderators who are Arab. The 5 pharmacists in the drugstore I visited today were Arab. There are at least 5 Arabs living in my building. I didn’t see whether there were Arabs or not in the restaurant I was in today, but that was because I can’t tell the difference until we converse. And then only sometimes. At least fifty thousand workers from Gaza and the West Bank haven’t been able to come here since the war. I have Arab friends but I haven’t seen most of them since the war began. We are all suffering from this separation.
the 25% – feb 14, 2024 Read Post »
I write my friends in Safed, “Are you okay?” They haven’t answered yet. I don’t believe they’ve been hurt in the bombing today, but the thought of this ancient city, with its priceless antiques and its spiritual population, being exposed to bombing, is beyond my comprehension.
safed – who’s safe – feb 14, 2 Read Post »
let’s make this week a better one than last week. Every day I feel just a bit better, but somehow I’m still overwhelmed. I joined too many clubs, watch too much news, tried too hard to plan events for the IAWE and for me, and now I can’t keep up. Kids have birthdays, friends have problems, relatives pass away, and some are unforgivably angry at me. My children go to demonstrations and think about moving away. Last year I met one of our cousins at a demonstration and now she’s in Australia. So there is this slight feeling of imposed depression – depression that is not based on a lack of interesting things to do, but on a sense that Hamas, Hizballah, and the government don’t want me to feel good. But somehow I’m going to make it a good week.
good week – feb 10, 2024 Read Post »
When I was first informed that Ezi’s mother’s cousin, Shifra Lancet, had passed away, I was sorry that our planned meeting didn’t take place. A few days after we spoke Ezi came down with covid, then I did, and then she did. But she didn’t survive it, and I know she was okay with that too. She was 101, after all.
But she was my last barrier between me and death. Ezi and I are now the senior generation.
She herself always thought of Ezi’s mother with awe and admiration, and although her memory was fading, she loved telling anecdotes of the old days, and she loved making me things – scarves and stories.
confession – feb 9, 2024 Read Post »
