blog, israeli politics, my life in tel aviv

All about me – with others as marginal characters. 

Months ago the dermotologist photographed a few of the more interesting of the marks on my body and sent me to Ichilov.  But the holidays and then the war put everything off and my appointment kept changing and moving back and forth.  Today was my day and even though I feel terrible I went, expecting the procedures to last all day.  But the biopsies and the removal of one growth were quick and painless, unlike the instructions I was given, and perhaps if I had felt good to begin with, it would have been almost fun.    

The thing was, the place was overcrowded.  Not for me, because I have gonnections, but for everyone else.  I actually know the hospital well, and have never seen it so full of people.  I wouldn’t have noticed so much if I hadn’t needed to stop so often and rest on the way out.  Not more severely injured people – but with many ambulatory patients.  To my mind many of them had been delaying treatment until the ceasefire.   Or perhaps their doctors were at the front.  But when we finally got to the parking garage we saw the same thing – an unbearable crowd.  It was impossible to get out.  Nevertheless, it is clear there was a quiet and a unity to almost all the contacts that the people made.  

What this means I am not sure.

a little trip to ichilov – Nov 27, 2023 Read Post »

blog, israeli politics, my life in tel aviv

As the hostages begin to return, painfully thin and totally traumatized, we think of the those 180 odd hostages who are still there, the men and boys who are not slated for an exchange with prisoners in Israel.  And anyone who thinks of them is traumatized as well.  To be thrown in a dark dungeon is bad enough for these women and babies, but who can imagine what is being done to the soldiers or the old men.  They will have to be rescued some other way.  

Every few days some organization calls me to ask how I am doing – it might be the municipality,or a writers’ organization or one of the philanthropic organizations that takes care of the elderly.  Whatever it is, I am always surprised and think for a moment before I say I’m okay.  After all, I’m functioning, smiling, shopping, etc.   But I make so many little mistakes I never made before – forget to call people, buy the wrong thing, send the wrong letter to the wrong person, mess up friendships, and so on – that I must be much more traumatized than I realize.  Of course I’m addicted to the news, know every facial expression of the Army Press Representative, can identify each hostage, donate something or some time every week to the cause of freeing the hostages or helping out with the terrible financial burden of the evacuees from the north.  But not doing that would be crazy in this environment.

 

 

trauma – nov 26, 2023 Read Post »

blog, israeli politics, my life in tel aviv

Even though we know how wonderful the gradual release from tension is, we know that we’ll be back to war soon and that Sinwar has some good tricks up his sleeve to drive us mad again. 

We had a wonderful lunch with our cousins and all of them are in complete control of their lives.  They know what they are doing and what the implications are, and it is a pleasure to feel the certainty that the rest of us don’t feel at all.  

It is so tempting to believe that all this horror is a passing event, and that the hatred of Israel that has emerged in the past two months is a passing fantasy, and that we will once again sit on our balconies and sip coffee.  

But I don’t believe it.

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temporary stay of execution – Read Post »

blog, israeli politics, my life in tel aviv,

There is such a difference between what I know and what I see on the foreign TV channels.  The first time I watched a few hostages moving from Hamas to the Red Cross, the mother and daughter waved goodbye to the captors, and it was clear to all that it was staged, that the only way they could not damage the chances of the hostages they were leaving behind was to behave as they were told.  

Today as I was watching the French news, I saw that the “Hamas Fighters” gave us 13 hostages yesterday and it was a wonderful occasion.  Of course no one mentioned that we released almost 100 terrorist prisoners in exchange,  that most of them will return to East Jerusalem and go back to work.   And of course there’s the 200 trucks of food and fuel we sent in today.

Jonathan Pollard has said that the families of the kidnapped people should have been jailed so they wouldn’t get in the way of the negotiations.  But I wouldn’t have had the heart. Would you?  That’s why I – along with hundreds of thousands of Israelis – walk around with a necklace that looks like dogtags and says “bring them back”

here are my dogtags

it may be our greatest weakness before Hamas.  We just can’t bear it.  

Why, you say, don’t we feel that way about the people of Gaza?  We do, or, we would if we weren’t so scared and disgusted with what they’ve done.


Waving to captors – nov 26, 2023 Read Post »

blog, israeli politics, my life in tel aviv

Since yesterday I’ve been receiving letters from people who haven’t spoken to me personally in years.  They’re not the usual letters of sympathy for the tense situation – they’re criticisms of our weakness, not support for our strength.  The idea is that they’re worried about us and want us to be powerful, like in biblical times.  Unfortunately most of us have developed into more humane and more emotionally vulnerable people, and we count each human life as if it is the world …. Dont ‘ask what we see enemies lives as – we’re not idiots.

 

what they say – nov 25, 2023 Read Post »

israeli politics

Even though the freeing of 13 hostages doesn’t mean much except that we’re not like King David who freed all of his enemy’s hostages at once, there was a special feeling of elation at dinner tonight.  First of all some of the hostages were actually released, secondly, the likelihood of rockets was diminished for the evening.  

So it was like a party.  A break from the war.  

A call from a friend reminded me that the war is still terrifying –  her son is in Gaza and there is no phone connection.  But the hostages seem to look all right – so far.  

 

hostages – nov 24, 2023 Read Post »

blog, israeli politics, my life in tel aviv

Once – long ago – I entered a train in the Paris Metro with a few others from home, and as I sat down, two things happened: a woman said something to me in Hebrew and a woman in a hijab with a big bag sat down next to me.  She began shouting at me while she put her hand in her bag, and I kept silent.  She began in French but when I didn’t react she began a version of German and Arabic.  I understood all the curses in all the languages but my eyes were focussed on her hand in her bag.  Finally I said to her in French that I didn’t know what she was saying  but I understood that she was angry with me.  We began talking and of course I lied about where I was from and how much I knew, and we became friends after 4 stops.  

But I have my eye on that hand now.  And I really believe she had a very long and sharp knife.  And Hamas does too – all over the world.                 

 

waiting game – nov 23, 2023 Read Post »