it was impossible for me to answer the phone to anyone over 10 years old today.  I’m so contentious there’s almost no one I’m not critical of, almost no one I don’t want to pick an argument with.  I don’t know why in particular I was not happy.  Everything was going my way – I spoke to the government offices about the IAWE, got cheerful but wrong answers, and transfered money to them easily, got all the information from the bank to send to the accountant for them, etc etc.  i even played games on zoom with my granddaughter – who – like my dear late mother – cheated with great pleasure and good humor.  I wrote a poem in Yiddish yesterday for my grandson and he recorded it today. 

And most important, I avoided the media – didn’t look at Nancy Pelosi, at hospital capacity, at impeachment, at PM trials.  

So why was it so dangerous to talk to me?  It was.  With the exception of Ezi, I tried to keep even people I loved far away.  It was a general meltdown.  And it was only alleviated by a little interview with Ahmed Tibi on TV.  When I see him I think anything is possible.

it seems it has turned out that I overestimated my situation – i’m not just crazy – i’m sick.