i asked chat what to do about solving our problem.  It gave me an answer but I kept resisting the advice.  See?

Convincing someone that their argument is dangerous can be a delicate process that requires empathy, understanding, and effective communication. Here’s a step-by-step approach you can take:

  1. Choose the Right Time and Place: Find a suitable time and place for the conversation. Make sure both you and the person you’re speaking to are in a calm and receptive state of mind.

This may be the biggest obstacle of all.  Neither of us are calm now.  We are too worried about what will happen if we lose, to be receptive.  So let’s say I can pretend and move on.

  1. Listen Actively: Before presenting your concerns, give them the opportunity to explain their argument fully. This shows that you respect their perspective and are willing to engage in a thoughtful discussion.

So far, everyone I’ve spoken to on the other side has spouting such nonsense I lose respect for them with the first sentence.  After that, I sit there with a fake smile.

 

  1. Find Common Ground: Start by acknowledging any valid points in their argument. This establishes common ground and makes them more open to considering your perspective.

The first goal, of living in peace, works perfectly.  Most of us believe that Jews deserve a homeland.  After that, it’s chaos.  No two people of all the millions can agree how it can be realized.  Even within our own family.

  1. Express Concerns, Not Judgments: Frame your concerns as your own perspective rather than passing judgment. Use “I” statements to explain how their argument makes you feel or what you see as potential risks.

Response:  Pooh-pooh.

  1. Provide Evidence and Examples: Back up your concerns with factual evidence, real-world examples, and logical reasoning. Present data, studies, or experiences that illustrate the potential dangers of their argument.

Fake news

  1. Appeal to Shared Values: Highlight shared values that you both care about. Explain how their argument might conflict with these values and why it’s important to consider the broader implications.

Okay, I’ll have to work on this

  1. Offer Alternatives: Suggest alternative viewpoints or solutions that address the concerns without the associated dangers. This shows that you’re not just criticizing their argument but also trying to find a better way forward.
  2. Use Empathy: Show empathy by acknowledging their perspective and emotions. Avoid coming across as condescending or dismissive, as this can lead to defensiveness.
  3. Ask Thoughtful Questions: Ask open-ended questions that encourage them to think deeper about their argument. These questions can help them reconsider their stance and explore the potential consequences.
  4. Stay Calm and Respectful: Keep the conversation respectful and avoid becoming confrontational. If emotions start to escalate, take a break and revisit the discussion later.
  5. Highlight Experts and Authorities: If relevant, refer to experts or authorities in the field who share your concerns. Citing respected sources can lend credibility to your argument.
  6. Share Personal Experiences: If you have relevant personal experiences that shed light on the dangers of their argument, share them in a non-accusatory manner.
  7. Appeal to Their Desire for Good: Many people genuinely want to contribute positively to society. Frame your concerns in a way that appeals to their desire to do good and avoid harm.
  8. Be Patient: Changing someone’s perspective takes time. It’s unlikely that they’ll completely change their mind in one conversation. Planting seeds of doubt and critical thinking can lead to gradual change.
  9. Follow Up: After the initial conversation, follow up with additional information, resources, or examples that reinforce your concerns. This demonstrates your commitment to the topic and encourages ongoing reflection.

Remember, people are more likely to be receptive to change when they feel heard and respected. Approach the conversation with an open mind and a genuine desire to help them see the potential dangers in their argument.

 

2 thoughts on “try try and try again – august 19, 2023”

  1. Dear Karen,

    Trying to convince the other side to see reason is a problem we can certainly relate to here in the US. Trump supporters cannot be convinced that his reelection would be a disaster. They’ve seen all he’s done including Jan 6, his four times and they don’t care.

    And the sad fact is that some Trump supporters may only change their mind once he’s reelected. Because if Trump is reelected he will appoint complete yes men. And more importantly he can’t run for a third term so Trump will no longer care what his voters think which may come as a shock to his base when they see what a Trump without guard rails looks like.

    Tese are scary times we are living through and so I am always glad Tel Aviv Diary is here to try and make sense of it all.

    Kathy Vullus

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