blog, poetry,

Because i am dyslexic. I always need a great motivation to read, especially if it is Yiddish or Hebrew.  There must be some trauma in my past connected to Hebrew letters that I have never uncovered.  But when i skimmed the Yiddish “Forward” and found an article that our future Secretary of State is the great grandson of a Yiddish writer, my curiousity and pride overcame my reluctance to read.  Meyer Blinkin came from the Ukraine to the US as a masseur and wrote a number of stories – none of which are available in the Tel Aviv University Library but i could order from interlibrary loan from Jerusalem or Bahrain.  I don’t even know yet whether anything has been translated so I suspect that Anthony Blinken has no idea of his heritage.  Worth looking into, don’t you think?  I suspect all Yiddish writing – especially in the twentieth century in New York – has a political basis.  The preservation of a Yiddish heritage even as the new heritage of multicultural New York is embraced is in itself political.  I love it and will look for his works.

November 25, 2020 – Meyer blinken Read Post »

blog,

As soon as the weather gets bad, or there’s a spike in the corona, i get on the internet and order food.  Even as I’m clicking items on supersol or tivtam or any of the supermarkets, I think of Estella Costanza’s famous line: “What am I supposed to do with all that Paella?” 

on saturday we had a ton of cholent – why?  because it was raining.  Children couldn’t come over because we don’t have a balcony, so we went to one bunch of kids and they kept the windows open for us.  My nascent cold got much worse as a result, and it’s wednesday and we’re still eating the leftovers of cholent.

People tell me I reflect the second generation syndrome, but basically I’m first generation, since the reason I don’t have older sisters is that my mother aborted herself twice while fleeing the Nazis.  Nevertheless I don’t remember my mother wasting food the way i do.  It’s my little way of controlling an uncontrolable situation.

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Ut elit tellus, luctus nec ullamcorper mattis, pulvinar dapibus leo.

november 25, 2020 – “What am i supposed to do with all that paella?” – overbuying and overcooking Read Post »

blog, poetry

i probably quoted her before, but the words of my husband’s ex-wife’s late mother still echo in my mind.  Two years after her widowhood I asked her how she kept occupied all day.  “What do you mean?”  She said haughtily and yet with humor, “I have a full-time job taking care of an ageing woman!”  Every year I see how true her words were.  I have endless aches and pains that demand checking and treating and even though the medical profession is occupied with treating Covid-19,   they still have time for my foibles. 

And I see that others have the same foibles.  One example that is not actually medical.  Almost every friend I have has complained about hair loss lately.  Women of various ages, various backgrounds tell me or show me that their hair is thinner, or they are getting bald in patches.  While I’m sure this is an emotional reaction to the situation, I’m sure it troubles most of them, and they spend time and money trying to figure out what to do, and how to hide it.  

me too.  when i see myself on zoom it seems to me my hairline is receding, and i spend more than my usual time in front of a mirror trying to blur that fact.  

as i used to tell my late brother-in-law – “A woman of 40 can look as good as a women of 20.  It just takes twice as long.”

 

november 24, 2020 – maintenance Read Post »

israeli politics, ,

one side of my throat is all swollen,and, when i think about it, it’s been a long time since i haven’t had a chill or a head ache.  but it is such a hassle to go to the doctor and then be told to drink tea with ginger or something basic like that.  worse, to be given an antibiotic and then go crazy with all those anti-anti-biotics.  oy.  i just want to stop my teeth from hurting.

but if i stay home and rest I’ll watch television.  And then the news about elections in March will make me ache all over.  I have the terrible feeling that we’re getting vaccines just so that we’ll go to the polls and re-elect Bibi…

november 23, 2020 – i don wanna go to the doctor Read Post »

blog, poetry

this is a first draft of a poem.  Ezi didn’t seem to like it, but maybe you can give me some advice:

 

Zooming in

 

So he’s sitting around after another successful talk,

And he’s rearranged his philosophy lecture notes

And he’s on his way to dump his dirty dishes in the sink

When there’s a knock at the door – and shit he says –

I have to put on pants.  The bell rings again and he opens

and a strange woman says, “Although we’ve never really met

I probably look familiar because we’re on zoom together –

I listen to your lectures, almost every one of them.

Can I come in? – I’ll wear my mask, and keep a distance

But I have to see it for myself or I won’t be able to sleep tonight. “

She steps boldly forward toward the hall – “This is where

your study is, right?”  she says, before he can say a word.

After all, he hasn’t met a living person in months

and he’s almost surprised she possess lower limbs. 

 

And she’s turned on the light in the room he’s just left,

Before he can even imagine where she’s gone,

and she looks around and shouts, “This is the place! 

Tell me, what is that object you keep near the wall

opposite your computer?  Part of it seems to be covered,

and  sometimes I see what looks like part of a bicycle,

maybe a motorbike, but something of it seems to be missing

and even though I try, I haven’t been able to figure it out.”

“It is the secret,” he replies, “the secret of zoom.

There must always be something to make you feel,

That on a screen, you can never know the entire truth.”

 

 

 

november 23, 2020 – zooming in – a draft Read Post »

israeli politics

had the great honor and pleasure to be on zoom with the Arab Culturalist on Business Etiquette in the UAE .  A cool, funny man who told us all the do’s and don’ts for doing business in Bahrain.  It was clear and quirky and made it clear to me that our cultures are completely antithetical.  It will be quite an experience to work with people in Dubai.

november 22, 2020 – Bahrain and the culture of commerce Read Post »

israeli politics

 

since i don’t have a bunch of poet friends who dare be honest nowadays and give constructive advice in fear of hurting my delicate feelings, i am putting this draft here.  i fear i haven’t worked out the comments thing yet, but i’m getting there.  so write me if you have something to say about this:  

 

Paralysis

A draft for Alicia

 

There’s so much  I don’t want to remember,

so much I don’t want to see,

but imprisoned at home it comes to me

how paralyzed we all have been made

and how much we need to free ourselves

not just from the lockdown of our home,

but also the passivity imposed on us

not only by terror of the plague

not only by the empty shops,

the faceless people on the street,

the lies piled so high they have spilled

into every part of our lives.

 

When my father had his first stroke,

he had to teach half his body

how to move.  I saw how much work

went into a single finger, then a hand,

until one day he was walking again.

The second time it didn’t work.

Getting a single word out

was too hard a task.

But I am his child

and my mother’s too.

And she moved for him,

refusing to let him relent.

 

 

 

I want to invoke her now

her stubborn blind will

that ignored the chill of reality

and forced movement forward.

november 21, 2020 – Paralysis, a draft Read Post »

israeli politics

It is one of the things I should have been doing all along, but couldn’t bring myself to do – cleaning out my sock drawer.  What does it entail?  Not just getting rid of those with irreparable holes or those that shrunk in the laundry, but also getting rid of socks that suit clothes that will never be worn again.  Which means, figuring out what clothes will be worn in the future.  Which means predicting what life will be like after the vaccine.  Will the vaccine work?  Will it keep us alive?  Will we live without the terror of plague?  Will we want to go back to our old life or will we re-invent our old lives?  Think about the possibility of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and maybe it’s the end of the tunnel, maybe it’s the flashlight of someone else looking for a way out, or maybe it’s an oncoming train….

me, i decided to keep all the socks, no matter how old and tattered.  

i even darned a few.

 

 

 

 

november 20, 2020 – what if… Read Post »