I know the week of mourning is supposed to be restorative, but I look at my niece who had been taking care of her mother in her final weeks and is now taking care of her father, and I think the period of mourning sometimes does not take care of the chief mourner.  So even though the shiva is at her home, I would really appreciate it if you let me know if you’re going to visit us so we can be sure to be there and pouring the coffee.