the last item on the news I saw was a Gazan grandmother looking for her family.  That was before my grandchildren came to stay over tonight.  They don’t have a shelter and I was worried about their safety – especially tonight.  We know there are launchers aimed at us out there, and as a therapist my daughter is in great demand at work and her partner is even more needed in the public sphere.  So I asked to have them visit.  

But as we were finishing dinner it turned out that one is so totally traumatized she can’t go to the bathroom by herself and has terrible nightmares.  

And then – as we were watching a late night movie, it was announced that they have school on zoom in the morning.

The eight year old couldn’t sleep and I put an amulet under her pillow after a long comforting conversation.  But now I’ll never relax – how will i get them down to the shelter in time?  How stupid was I to think I could do more than get my old ass out of range?  

Yes, I want the fighting to stop.  I don’t want to hear about more losses of life in Gaza.  The people I have met in Gaza – every single one of them – was as dear as my own sweet granddaughter.  But I don’t want to have her attacked again.