Since my family is taking me out for my birthday next week, they asked me what kind of food I’d like.  And for the first time – since it’s all about me – I thought – what about a JEWISH restaurant?  I’m always going to Arab restaurants like Abu Hassan and Haj Khakhil or Moroccan or Georgian restaurants but where would I go for some good old European Jewish knishes or helzel or ptchah or the like?  Keton!  Every recommends it and I was kind of thinking of some Schtav or Borsht and then I looked at the menu and it’s just not what I was thinking of.  It may be great but it’s not what I used to make or what my mother made or even what I could get anywhere in New York.  

And there’s nowhere else.  

Unless you know somewhere and then you’ll be invited to my party.  

So I’m probably going to wind up in some pretentious noisy place where the food is lousy and the portions are small….