No one can see the photographs and film of hungry Gazans without sympathy, and yet some of my friends disclaim any emotion.  One of the reasons we are seem less empathic is the fact that we never mention the terrible things done to us in order to demean and debase us.  Sometimes I mention something and nobody reacts.  Like a few months ago I dropped a hint in an article in firstofthemonth.org.  I said something about the fact that there were victims whose gender could not be identified at first.  Noone asked me about that, and I am sure that the families of these victims are not going to dwell on it.  But the mutilation of sexual organs was widespread on October 7, and the purpose was to debase and emasculate the men.  Raping women here was not about sex, certainly not when it was done with a shooting klatchnikov, but robbing the men and all the country of all power. Making a fifteen year old girl into a sex slave might have erotic benefits, but when I saw the footage of her, with her brownstained cargo pants, being pushed into a car on that fateful day, I wondered how anyone could get sexual pleasure from making that terrified child into a handmaiden.  

We don’t talk about the details, how the hostages of both sexes and ages are ravished daily – because it shames us.  But until we talk about it, we cannot explain – even to ourselves – our motivation.  Or regain our sense of moral superiority. 

Our attempts to bring food into Gaza have failed due to their desperation and our diffidence.  And when we remember how many Gazans were brought – by Israelis – to hospital in Israel for life-saving treatment, we are embarrassed we were such suckers.  Look at how we treated them and how they treat us.  It makes us feel even more foolish.

But we aren’t foolish – we’re human beings who were rewarded for our humanity with  behavior unheard of in the animal kingdom.  More of that behavior is unearthed every day.  

Victims are always embarassed to talk.  But until it all comes out, we remain victims.