I’m not proud of this. I couldn’t figure out the new supermarket online site and really don’t like going to the supermarket, but we’re really out of food, so I went to Tiv Tam online. And I ordered meat – something I never do online. And a whole bunch of stuff I never realized was available in this country. And when I discovered that they delivered online on Friday night, I was doubly excited. The kids, who were there for dinner when the delivery came, noticed this amazing event, and Yaniv said – it will make the food taste better.

I didn’t realize it, and I’m not proud of it, but this really was true. The sense of being overwhelmed by religion has really been getting to me. I would probably be both kosher and shomer shabbat if I wasn’t feeling forced into it.

Enough. I strained my back putting everything away all that stuff, and I probably deserved it. Just for the sense of spite that I could get away with breaking rules imposed on me.

How Yaara dragged me out of bed to get to the port this morning is beyond me. But she was right – 8:30 in the morning is the best time to sit in a cafe by the sea. The port is lovely, quiet, and peaceful, and the croissants at cafe cafe we great. The only problem was she wanted to talk nostalgia, about how wonderful the country was before 1967. I almost fell into the trap but stopped myself. It is a very important thing to remember: We can’t go back there, things will never be as they were, and we must pay attention to what is now and what we can do to ameliorate the situation. Without malice, without self-deception, without pity – for others or ourselves. Just try to work things out.

I don’t know if I’ve ever been on the beach before on Eid El Adha – but today was a surprise for me. All the grass was covered with barbequing large families. The women were all completely covered, wearing solid color hijabs, and it was clear to me the families were going to sleep on the beach, because they were very far from home. There was no place to move, no way to make eye contact, not even a familiar accent.

And I kept thinking of what our friend said about Ben & Jerry’s – “with ice cream like that we don’t need Territories.”

Omer’s birthday – I wanted to take the kids out for ice cream – something special. Bussa بوظة was the ice cream of choice. But when we got there, it was closed. That’s when I remembered it was Eid El Adha – عيد الأضحى – when Ishmael escaped being sacrificed by his father. (I hope I spelled it right – I’m still learning Arabic.) But what was written on the door of Bussa was that they hoped they would be opening again soon.

So since we had already parked our car, we decided to find somewhere else that had ice cream. And since it was so hot, we went to the Tel Aviv Mall. And there was no ice cream. Three places listed there on the internet, but none found. We wound up in Gregg cafe and pigged out on pancakes. I would have preferred local ice cream.

So Ben and Jerry’s was in my mind. Hillel Schenker published an article agreeing with the boycott of the territories. And he’s right too. But I can’t help thinking that strengthening BDS is not my bag. Well, there’s another year and a half before it happens. In the mean time I’m hoping that a two-state solution can be put on the table.

There is another, more basic, issue here. I keep remembering sitting with a guy in a beautiful garden next to a fountain in Ramallah, and we said – life has been good to you since Israel took over, hasn’t it? It was probably 1975, and I was noting his Rollex, his expensive clothes, the beautiful environment. Yes, he said, but I would give it all up for freedom. Freedom? I said. You were under Jordanian rule before us. There never was a Palestinian State. But there will be, he answered.

For now, I can’t even decide about ice cream.

the manager of Ben and Jerry’s claims he has been bombarded with false complaints for months – that they use Palestinian water, that they are built on confiscated land – all kinds of accusations that he denies categorically. I really hope that the complaints spread by BDS can be publically disproved. No matter what happens with Ben and Jerry’s, it has left a bitter taste in my mouth for the ice cream I always loved, if only because they didn’t fact check.

my favorite ice cream (except for Bussa) – and from next year they are not going to be selling in the territories. This means we will no longer have “chunky monkey” in Israel. I’ve never been certain that boycotting was the way to convince Israel to establish a Palestinian state, but suddenly it doesn’t taste all that great to me, When I read about it in the Post just now, I really admired the delicacy of their position and how careful they were to distinguish between Israel and the territories, and I appreciate it very much, but I don’t empathize with the effort to influence Israel’s policies – I don’t think BDS has Israel’s interests at heart, and many people who support don’t really know what’s going on here. At the same time, I would be very happy to support a two-state solution.

i understand I disappeared for a few days. I don’t know where I went or why, but I must have pressed an unfortunate button or something. Some people say it is a fire in the sun, others say it must be related to cyberattacks. But I pressed something and reappeared. Apologies – but anyway you didn’t miss much. We’re kind of holding our breaths to see whether Ezi’s vaccine took or not, and trying not to expose him in the meantime. When everyone was staying safe it wasn’t a problem, but people are really fed up with wearing masks, keeping distance, staying away. That makes our situation more dangerous. So we remain anonymous and invisible.