blog, poetry

the world outside is of course going to hell – not only have we let hell loose by opening up schools and shopping malls at the same time, but a top Iranian nuclear scientist has been assassinated.  Whether we were involved our not, we’re to blame and we will pay.   So we stay home.  In fact, the worse the news, the more we make cakes.  Right now, Ezi is making a Dobos Torte.  Write me for the recipe

Me, I’m finishing up the  poems that I wrote with Robert Priest so we can record them next week as a disk.  Here’s an example:

Your Legs

 

“Your legs

Are not your best feature,

They should be played down,”

She said – and I looked up at her face

To see if she meant it

Since except for the blue lines

interlacing with red on the skin,

My legs are quite superb

And the crisscross of veins

Remind me of my father

And although I never saw her,

His mother.  I merge

With their chronicles of aches,

Long hours of standing

When the pain from below

Calls me back to my body

From wherever I was, saying

“Whatever you have to do

Cannot be as significant

As the generations that created

Those legs upon which you stand.”

 

They may be

My best feature.

 

 

november 27, 2020 – playing with poems while we prepare a third wave Read Post »

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Despite all the summer street work, the enormous efforts to improve our drainage in the neighborhood, we have a river going through our street, and even a short walk in impossible.  

So we look up the place where Bibi went to meet with the Saudis.  At first it seems like the end  of the world – but if we wait a year I think it will be a little paradise. See?

it must be a perfect place to rendez-vous – close enough to Eilat to make it a morning jaunt.  Maybe once we’re finished with this plague we’ll be able to engage a suite in a five star hotel on their incredible beach… Or maybe we’ll be at war.  I’m kind of counting on that beach, but right now we’re at the barely talking stage.

in the meantime, the rain has stopped for the afternoon and we can try to face the reality of a government that can’t get together on a single thing, a leader under investigation for some serious crimes, and a country that is opening itself up to the third wave of corona.  

i think i’d rather go back to the fantasy of Neom with its artificial moon.  

 

november 26, 2020 – Neom in the rain Read Post »

blog, poetry,

Because i am dyslexic. I always need a great motivation to read, especially if it is Yiddish or Hebrew.  There must be some trauma in my past connected to Hebrew letters that I have never uncovered.  But when i skimmed the Yiddish “Forward” and found an article that our future Secretary of State is the great grandson of a Yiddish writer, my curiousity and pride overcame my reluctance to read.  Meyer Blinkin came from the Ukraine to the US as a masseur and wrote a number of stories – none of which are available in the Tel Aviv University Library but i could order from interlibrary loan from Jerusalem or Bahrain.  I don’t even know yet whether anything has been translated so I suspect that Anthony Blinken has no idea of his heritage.  Worth looking into, don’t you think?  I suspect all Yiddish writing – especially in the twentieth century in New York – has a political basis.  The preservation of a Yiddish heritage even as the new heritage of multicultural New York is embraced is in itself political.  I love it and will look for his works.

November 25, 2020 – Meyer blinken Read Post »

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As soon as the weather gets bad, or there’s a spike in the corona, i get on the internet and order food.  Even as I’m clicking items on supersol or tivtam or any of the supermarkets, I think of Estella Costanza’s famous line: “What am I supposed to do with all that Paella?” 

on saturday we had a ton of cholent – why?  because it was raining.  Children couldn’t come over because we don’t have a balcony, so we went to one bunch of kids and they kept the windows open for us.  My nascent cold got much worse as a result, and it’s wednesday and we’re still eating the leftovers of cholent.

People tell me I reflect the second generation syndrome, but basically I’m first generation, since the reason I don’t have older sisters is that my mother aborted herself twice while fleeing the Nazis.  Nevertheless I don’t remember my mother wasting food the way i do.  It’s my little way of controlling an uncontrolable situation.

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Ut elit tellus, luctus nec ullamcorper mattis, pulvinar dapibus leo.

november 25, 2020 – “What am i supposed to do with all that paella?” – overbuying and overcooking Read Post »

blog, poetry

i probably quoted her before, but the words of my husband’s ex-wife’s late mother still echo in my mind.  Two years after her widowhood I asked her how she kept occupied all day.  “What do you mean?”  She said haughtily and yet with humor, “I have a full-time job taking care of an ageing woman!”  Every year I see how true her words were.  I have endless aches and pains that demand checking and treating and even though the medical profession is occupied with treating Covid-19,   they still have time for my foibles. 

And I see that others have the same foibles.  One example that is not actually medical.  Almost every friend I have has complained about hair loss lately.  Women of various ages, various backgrounds tell me or show me that their hair is thinner, or they are getting bald in patches.  While I’m sure this is an emotional reaction to the situation, I’m sure it troubles most of them, and they spend time and money trying to figure out what to do, and how to hide it.  

me too.  when i see myself on zoom it seems to me my hairline is receding, and i spend more than my usual time in front of a mirror trying to blur that fact.  

as i used to tell my late brother-in-law – “A woman of 40 can look as good as a women of 20.  It just takes twice as long.”

 

november 24, 2020 – maintenance Read Post »

blog, poetry

this is a first draft of a poem.  Ezi didn’t seem to like it, but maybe you can give me some advice:

 

Zooming in

 

So he’s sitting around after another successful talk,

And he’s rearranged his philosophy lecture notes

And he’s on his way to dump his dirty dishes in the sink

When there’s a knock at the door – and shit he says –

I have to put on pants.  The bell rings again and he opens

and a strange woman says, “Although we’ve never really met

I probably look familiar because we’re on zoom together –

I listen to your lectures, almost every one of them.

Can I come in? – I’ll wear my mask, and keep a distance

But I have to see it for myself or I won’t be able to sleep tonight. “

She steps boldly forward toward the hall – “This is where

your study is, right?”  she says, before he can say a word.

After all, he hasn’t met a living person in months

and he’s almost surprised she possess lower limbs. 

 

And she’s turned on the light in the room he’s just left,

Before he can even imagine where she’s gone,

and she looks around and shouts, “This is the place! 

Tell me, what is that object you keep near the wall

opposite your computer?  Part of it seems to be covered,

and  sometimes I see what looks like part of a bicycle,

maybe a motorbike, but something of it seems to be missing

and even though I try, I haven’t been able to figure it out.”

“It is the secret,” he replies, “the secret of zoom.

There must always be something to make you feel,

That on a screen, you can never know the entire truth.”

 

 

 

november 23, 2020 – zooming in – a draft Read Post »

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We walked along the acquaduct today from Jisr El Zarcha to Caesarea, admiring the amazing engineering skills of the Romans

as well as the entepreneurship of the people from Jisr

it was a long and gorgeous walk along the shore, and so exciting i  kept clicking and it is not surprising that I ran out of battery along the way.  Yet every photograph showed the way everything in the country is connected:

but after 10 miles all i could think of was a warm bath

november 17, 2020 – walking to caesarea Read Post »

blog, poetry

no – not out of our social distancing, not out of our relative isolation, but out of our usual schedule.  tomorrow we go back to Jisr El Zarcha and walk along the beach to Caesarea.  We will see  few people and many seagulls. 

The news about vaccinations has made me realize how frightened I am of living a normal life in the future.  What have I been doing all this time at home?  Where should I go if I can go anywhere I want?  Last week a friend asked me where we will go for our next vacation and I had no answer – no will.

november 16, 2020 – we’re breaking out Read Post »