As major changes occur every day in this region, it is not only difficult to chart the mood of the country and of the self. Everything alters from minute to minute – from hope to terror.
So we decided a few months ago to rest up with family and friends in New York. We leave in the morning. But I have acquired so many tasks in the US that who knows what kind of rest we will have. The imperatives to help, to unite, to tikkun – for all those involved in the unrest – make rest and relaxation difficult.
We’re talking about freeing hostages even today. They still are not here and our holiday will forever be changed by this day of negotiations. The sukkah before the presidents house, the memorial flags on the site of the nova massacre, the photos of the victims on the seats of the lawn of Columbia university, the stories of survivors on TV – all will have changed us forever.
slowly, we are including hope in the grief and fear we’ve been living with. We’re going to the US on Thursday and I will be reminded that we have been considered powerful, brutal, fearless, and immune to pain and suffering by the rest of the world. And that we have done everything possible to put on a facade of business as usual while we we suffered in so many ways. We’re beginning to admit it, and get past the terrors we didn’t dare tell each other.
Personally I’ve been believing in a Palestinian state for at least 40 years – but i know it has to be done right – will we be able to work together to make it right? I hope so .
So we’re going away for a few weeks and I will try to keep you in the loop. I want to know what’s going on with Mamdami and what’s going on with new york. i want to know whether this is going to be a good world from now on…
and i think the heavy metal door ot the shelter is opening between th e world. let’s seel
of course we are all excited about the hostages being return – terrified about their condition – but estatic about the return. And we don’t care about the cost.
but now, only now, am i realizing how absolutely terrified I’ve been – not so much about survival – but the survival of the whole concept of Israel. The people – I believe – have become far more knowledgable and determined, and our dreams are somewhat more realistic. We know our limitations.
This morning, during one of the interminable waits at the hairdressers, I had a chat with another hairdresser, who has completed his studies at some alternative psychotherapy college. His initial discussion was about the trauma Israel has endured – “I don’t mean this war,” he said, “but the history of persecution” and the collective trauma of the Jews, that’s why we make all these bad decisions.” He then began discoursing about insufficient breast-feeding and parts of all kinds of theories from very different directions that have to be used to break our behavior to make it more positive again.
Me, I’m thinking of some comforting fireside chats, with people from antithetic groups – not to talk to each other, but just to explain their views of what is going on and what can be done, with an ubershrink straightening out the different talks and bringing them together.
but certainly not the hairdresser, as wonderful a friend as he is.
It’s not a cease-fire. Gaza and Israel didn’t announce it. They’re following an order that Donald Trump imposed. This may be the only way to get us to stop fighting, and may be the only way to change the game, but I would be much more confident if everything was not dependent on one person.
Can it be true? The flotilla carried no humanitarian aid?
Can it be true – as other news reports say that the whole flotilla was organized by Hamas, and still others are reporting riots and strikes in Italy as the Italian government opposed the flotilla.
We have to be particularly careful about the sources of our information – especially now when the situation is so delicate. It isn’t surprising that a Manchester policeman shot a Jew by mistake. It happens to us all the time in this war.
And then maybe everything turns out to be a mistake.