The Tel Aviv Marathon has thousands of Israeli running through the closed-off streets. It ended today at 1, and then at 2 “Cavaliera Rusticana” at the concert hall. I had thought to skip the music because I was sure the streets would still be closed off and there would be no way to get to the concert hall. But it went smoothly and the music almost helped me forget the fact that I haven’t been able to sit down ever since that night when my escaping slipper made me drop to the floor onto my behind. It’s kept me from going to the movies, but also from writing comfortably.
So many of the friendships carefully created in the past years have been lost since October 7. Please let us not forget our wonderful relationships that were endangered with the horrors of recents months. So many friendships were lost in the year before that with the nationality law that made Hebrew the official language and left out Arabic. It’s time now to begin to correct these terrible wounds.
It was as if we had controlled ourselves throughout these terrible times. But today the thought of the lively red-headed children, the devoted mother being laid into the ground – after such hope, such certainty that no one would harm such a perfect family. it was too much, too overwhelming. The flags were changed from blue and white to orange and white in sympathy.
I was left without words. What right do I have to write an elegy about people I have not met. And yet, they seem to be inside me – their love, their sympathy, their vulnerability. And something in all of us was lost.
A few months ago I made an appointment with an osteopath – remembering that years ago he fixed all my pains and agonies. But I’ve had to cancel again and again because I was sick. Today I finally went to see him and the conversation went like this: “how do you feel?” well, I’m tired a lot. “Everyone is tired this year. It’s a tough time.” I seem to have no resistance to colds and flu. I even had the vaccine and it didn’t work. “Everyone is sick. I had the flu a week after the vaccine.” My shoulder hurts. “Yes, your shoulder hurts.” He fixed my shoulder.
I just realized today that I never tell you about my poetry. Perhaps because I’m planning to send it somewhere for publication, perhaps because I don’t think you’d be interested in poetry. But if you’re interested in me, you probably want to know how I figure out what the problems are in the country I live in.
So there’s a poem I wrote recently about an experience of long ago, when my kids were small about a guy who looked like my father but when he came up to my car he spoke in a heavily Arabic accent. He asked my for help, that he’d lost his papers, and needed a ride out of the neighborhood before he got caught. I brushed him off with an excuse, and was surprised that he let me go so easily. I really was afraid he’d open the door and grab the wheel. But I drove off and went to deliver a sandwich to the school for my son’s lunch. But I kept thinking about him, and went home to see whether he was still around. He was and there were police around him, searching him. I kept thinking of my father and how he was arrested long ago, but I didn’t know what to do. By the time I’d parked the car no one was there – no police cars, no man.
I tried to put it all together in this poem – my helplessness, the reality of my fear, but also my sense of responsibility.
I have written a great deal about being in situations that are very physically complex – the difficulty of acting morally in culturally complex situations. I often go the other way – believe in people and it turns out well. Less so lately.
These are really hard times to hang onto humanity.
Even though my wonderful friends were even more wonderful than ever, the apartment we had lunch in was perfectly charming, and Rashid was as always a novel and innovative chef
snowing - 23.2.25
We left Jerusalem just before it began snowing.
And I couldn’t wait to get out of there.
Even though my wonderful friends were even more wonderful than ever, the apartment we had lunch in was perfectly charming, and Rashid was as always a novel and innovative chef…
Even though I did very much want to see the city wrapped in white…
I kept getting letters yesterday about the Bibas family – emails, whatsapp, messages, even phone calls – all saying “No Words.” No words meaning the experience is beyond words. But I don’t want to blame it on ‘savagery’ or ‘indoctrination’ – I want to start talking about how this should not happen again. How can we all learn to prevent the idea of cold-blooded murder being sanctified? How do we learn to sanctify all human life? Ramadan is coming up this weekend – how can we help make it a holy holiday for all human beings? I don’t mean it has to be holy in the sense of the world following islam. I mean it has to be holy in the sense of all of us respecting each other’s sanctity.
I don’t want more words, but actions. I want people to learn and discuss the fact that when we forgot that people are people we stop becoming people ourselves.
cholent relaxes the mind – that must be another reason it’s a sabbath requirement. Even my grandchildren ate it. And we went to rest after lunch, even though the dishes were strewn all over the kitchen.