We read “lamentations” every year. We’ve lost so much so often. And we’re still here. So tonight – who knows – we’ll read “Lamentations” in the shelter and we’ll be greatful we’ve got a place to hide. I refuse to be terrified in advance.
There’s always tomorrow to be torrified.
stop scaring yourself – 8.12.24 Read Post »
There really is so much to talk about. But I find that talking to my friends is sometimes difficult right now. Either they are terrified and they can’t be talked out of it, or they have developed theories that may make sense – if you’re crazy. All the apocryphal visions. All the wild scenarios. Some of them make a little sense, but the religious extremists frighten me, because they make just a little sense. Not the part about how the prayers of those who don’t go into the army have saved us, much more than the helpless army. But the part about how we’ve become far too materialistic and we need therefore to introduce some spirituality into our society.
And I have to become more compassionate.
We’ve won 7 olympic medals so far, totally out of proportion to our population, and I don’t know how we did it. One of our granddaughters does artistic gymnastics, and one of the boys lifts weights, so we find ourselves following olympics games all the time. I don’t particularly like competitive sports, so I need to clear my head after the games, and watch an episode of “Taagad,” a series last year about a medical unit in the army. How much of a difference a year makes in the army! I watch the naivete with longing – it helps me to sleep. Better than all the medals.
how many medals? – 8.10.24 Read Post »
Now that my flu or whatever it was is diminishing I’m beginning to become able to begin to answer emails and respond to friends.
But it’s no fun. Their pessimism shows through and they are expecting me to calm their fears.
I’ve just packed a bag for 3 days in the shelter – and even though I know that we’ll make it through, there will be tough days ahead.
Don’t ask.
What is worse – when the prime minister wasn’t functioning at all at the beginning of the war (and before) or now, when he is simply crazy, leading us off a cliff to oblivion? I keep thinking he will shake himself and realize what terrible harm he is doing to his people as well as the people next door. But it just gets worse and worse. There seems to be no way to wake him up to reality. Even Biden’s “Stop Bullshitting Me” remark last week didn’t make a tiny difference in his behavior. When he was sure that Trump was going to win, I thought maybe he was banking on that – having a partner in his madness. But now that it is possible there will be a president who won’t let him get away with all this madness, he hasn’t batted an eyelash.
I wouldn’t mind the fact that he was losing it, but he’s bringing two peoples down with him.
And yet, I have not been demonstrating lately. Mostly out of fear of personal injury. But this distance I’m keeping from rebellion is also keeping myself from the population that matters. These are the people who can rebuild this country, the people who matter, the people I would most hate to lose.
losing it – 8.9.24 Read Post »
i keep hearing it. Today is the day we get bombed bigtime. If it doesn’t happen today, repeat this message tomorrow.
Yes, we’re all crazy with fear, but no supermarkets are overwhelmed with customers, no banks are having a run of cash withdrawals, and I spent 6 hours at the hairdressers today to look exactly the way I usually look. (The hairdresser doesn’t have a safe room much less a shelter.) Maybe there are fewer diners at open air restaurants. Maybe. There still are parties and jokes aplenty. There is even an ad for sexy nightwear – “When the attack comes, you’ll be a bombshell.”
Ah yes, we’ll die laughing.
if it doesn’t happen today – 8.8.24 Read Post »
I came home to a mound of laundry – as usual, the same news – as usual, somewhat greater anxiety than before we left, and a flu I must have picked up while traveling homeward. What bothered me most was that no one had prepared the shelter for what is expected to be a big attack. Almost all the people in our building are old, and have weathered many wars, and don’t believe they won’t be able to grab stuff between bombings. I would have filled the shelter with food for 100 people – to include the people off the streets who might get caught in the bombing, but everyone else objects. It’s not just that they think everything will be stolen, but they think I’m raising their fear level.
a strange but wonderful vacation – other than occasional emails I couldn’t reach the outside world at all, and for us the only attempts that were important were concerned with the war in Israel. But hearing about the war from a ship of fools was nothing like seeing and feeling it in here. As soon as we got on the El Al plane we began to understand how isolated we had been. Yes, we heard all the news, but we didn’t feel it. Now we feel it – desperately.
But I want to tell you about El Al. As soon as I get into the plane I felt secure. It was not only the staff I saw, it was the staff I didn’t see – the people I know were behind the scenes.
But it was also the humor. While abroad I must have cracked a joke every few minutes, and found a smile once out of ten times. Example: I get into an elevator full of people and say, “Okay, who’s in charge here?” Nobody laughs. On the plane I walk up the aisle to the toilet and the steward says, “We’ve been Waiting for you!” and he graciously opens the door for me – to which i bow and wave in a majestic manner. i’m home.
Back to business – 8.6.24 Read Post »
