Since yesterday I’ve been receiving letters from people who haven’t spoken to me personally in years. They’re not the usual letters of sympathy for the tense situation – they’re criticisms of our weakness, not support for our strength. The idea is that they’re worried about us and want us to be powerful, like in biblical times. Unfortunately most of us have developed into more humane and more emotionally vulnerable people, and we count each human life as if it is the world …. Dont ‘ask what we see enemies lives as – we’re not idiots.
Even though the freeing of 13 hostages doesn’t mean much except that we’re not like King David who freed all of his enemy’s hostages at once, there was a special feeling of elation at dinner tonight. First of all some of the hostages were actually released, secondly, the likelihood of rockets was diminished for the evening.
So it was like a party. A break from the war.
A call from a friend reminded me that the war is still terrifying – her son is in Gaza and there is no phone connection. But the hostages seem to look all right – so far.
Once – long ago – I entered a train in the Paris Metro with a few others from home, and as I sat down, two things happened: a woman said something to me in Hebrew and a woman in a hijab with a big bag sat down next to me. She began shouting at me while she put her hand in her bag, and I kept silent. She began in French but when I didn’t react she began a version of German and Arabic. I understood all the curses in all the languages but my eyes were focussed on her hand in her bag. Finally I said to her in French that I didn’t know what she was saying but I understood that she was angry with me. We began talking and of course I lied about where I was from and how much I knew, and we became friends after 4 stops.
But I have my eye on that hand now. And I really believe she had a very long and sharp knife. And Hamas does too – all over the world.
The beauty of the melody, adapted from Smetana, reminded me that I always wanted to update the text – to make it inclusive and appropriate to a state already established, not anticipated. With the same beautiful music. But I never did.
Its one of the worst things that can happen to a person after they’ve been raped – that you’re not believed. That’s why I’m so shocked and really appalled by the reaction of the international women’s organizations. Here are a few articles:
I wasn’t going to talk about it either, because the subject is physically painful to me, but when I looked it up on Google, there was almost nothing outside of Israel. Little girls, old ladies, and all the women in between were raped in their beds or while they were at a party and murdered, sometimes in reverse order, documented by the rapists themselves and we don’t even talk about it. What amazing hypocrisy!
Someone is shutting them up.
It’s like I was told at college that if I reported it, the fraternity would bring dozens of boys to swear that I did it for a living.
I was watching the long rows of refugees from Gaza city trudging down south to an uncertain future, carrying all they own.
Then I remembered. My parents were refugees. They managed to get out of the international city of Danzig where they had been refugees from Lithuania for 4 years – and arrived in England the night before Hitler’s invasion of Poland. Their visas were temporary, and from the moment they arrived, their sponsors were looking for a way to get them out of England. That’s why I grew up in America.
But my parents never would have been able to return to their homes. The whole neighborhood was bulldozed. We found new homes in America, and I never thought of myself as a refugees. Even though the only clothes I had were in a tiny bag, and what I wore was a jumpsuit made down from British army blankets.
I hope these people have intact homes to go back to when this is over. But I have said goodbye to a number of homes and entered bare rooms and started over again and again, and apart from a few neuroses, managed.
With so many massive cruelties that have been visited on the people of Israel over the past few years, the blaming of the victims of terrorism, it shouldn’t be surprising that the victims of brutal rape should be ignored, almost forgotten.
It’s like a second rape, this dismissal of the brutalization of the women on Oct 7. Perhaps because most of the women were dismembered and will not carry their shame into the future that we can close the chapter, perhaps because it is embarassing to talk about such subjects, an admission of weakness.
But I have to admit I’m totally shocked by the silence of American women’s organizations. The evidence is everywhere – on the go-pros of the rapists and murderers, in testimonies of witnesses. How is it that organizations for women’s rights around the world are sanctioning this unspeakable behavior?
It doesn’t matter now, does it? We’ve been shamed enough by the invasion and slaughter. The dead are dead. Still, imagine your own last moments in such degradation. Or imagine living with the memory. The horror.
The only thing you can count on right now in Israel is that there’s going to be a rocket somewhere near you every day. The government is certainly not dependable in any way. The army is fine. The citizens are amazing. The children are functioning at a level much higher than I could ever imagine in this situation. But the government – in one word – stinks. We’re comfortable with chaos as individuals, but what we would could accomplish with a real government.