Moti and I were born in the spring. He was a year younger than me, but both of us had an obsession about being an example of renewal. He was an only child and gay so the “renewal” was in his poetry, his art, his writing.
I didn’t know about his passing – I’ve been out of touch with most of my friends for the past couple of years – even Moti. I didn’t even know he’d been struggling with cancer while I myself had been testing positive for something similar that has largely disappeared in the past month.
And I kept thinking that sometime soon I would speak to him about it, now that it was over – both of us being hypochondriacs. A shelf of his books, at least 30 poems of his I translated, a vase he gave me a few years ago. So here’s the first poem of his I translated. I can’t remember where it was published but it was.
SPRING
I was conceived in the summer
when my parents fell in love between their quarrels,
and born in a spring of butterflies and rats
while clear rivers were melting
though Earth had digested innumerable dead.
In the windows the city was ruins:
Horrible sights crowded the streets
refusing to sink into memory sewers.
Satan has performed here, they said.
His barking voice echoed in empty stadiums,
his blood stained the sidewalks with hieroglyphics.
White‑toothed American soldiers were messengers of purity.
Hungry and yellow, German women coupled with muscular blacks.
The Jews of the Camps returned to business and regained flesh.
I was a newborn to the crucified race,
a race whose interpretations of its books
concealed the secret of its essence,
a race whose weaknesses implored its death
at the hands of the mad masters of power.
I was a newborn in a city of ruins
and my mother loved me like hope, like an omen, like blue skies,
and my father embraced me like a man embracing his new sword
and the wool and silk and milk did not suffice
to subdue my feverish cry.
1.
Butterflies and angels in leaves and flowers
floated, carousing and leaping,
and the bees buzzed, busy for hours,
among pollen rods and cones of nectar.
2.
We sat at night by a shallow sea—
holding hands in silence.
And our hands sweltered, melted, welded
and in our breasts a heart was raving
and our heart pleaded to leap distances—
propelled on by vast craving—
we thought we longed for each other.
The sea smelled of iodine and weeds
the wind carried gentle seeds,
the wind circled in dreams.
Love dictated surrender and conquest,
brave gestures and soft accord.
3.
On beams burning like rainbow
tiny girls curled the air
golden dust in their hair
holding lilies and moths
4.
Blue dolphins sported in the heights
with balls of cloud, large and light.
On earth they served creamy ice
to modish lips of strawberry and rose.
Craving ships sailed out to sea, to the heavens.
There invaded a glowing light,
yellow clusters, clusters of fire,
intoxicating odor of flowers’ desire,
blood period feverish like a childhood disease,
the white of her body, body of white.
5.
An old man licked the vision of boys and girls
at the number 5 stop, pierced
with his tongue through their blue uniforms,
through their sneakers and socks.
Guilt was arrested and executed.
Ladies and gentlemen,
said the old man at the trial of Guilt,
to live is to lick visions.
6.
Joseph and Zuki, the lovers, the addicts of their love,
took with them for a trip along the shores of Sinai—
me—guessing the severity of my verdict:
to search for love for many years
perplexed between pilgrims’ paths
to the cities of love’s spoils
the cities of grand parks, cafes, river‑bridges,
the baths with wet mosaics, the opera foyer
or to the crystal‑built cities of spirit,
at the gate of the great being
that seems as nothingness to the private and lustful human.
Joseph and Zuki the lovers
took with them for a trip along the shores of Sinai
in the beginning of Spring, 1977,
a perplexed and grim pilgrim
inventing himself as if walking on himself
like a circus bear walking on a ball,
and before my eyes they planned their house
a grey concrete villa, paved with pink marble,
with a bed for a lemon tree in the patio,
spotted dogs wandering around.
Now when I ponder Spring
I remember again the journeys’ evenings:
the evening they disappeared to fulfill their passion
and left a bitter and dreamy pilgrim
in an empty cafe, in the last cafe before the desert
listening to taped American troubadours,
watching the bluing desert,
And the evening smuggled in, tender and blind.
And a black evening spraying stars
when we crouched in the sand by a greasy sea
(they held hands)
and we saw the light net streams
that the moon spread out on the moving water
reaching Arabia, land of the rock,
and I pronounced quite relevant thoughts
on the influence of desert‑scape on the birth of monotheism
and on the influence of the sun on the consciousness of Abraham.
7.
Spring attacked, we became as loonies
our strength to die was dying
bush‑hunters turned blue for love
and monkeys and parrots screeched.
Spring attacked, we became as loonies
running out of strength to die
Spring attacked, we became as loonies
In the morning the sheets ain’t hiding
the light vomits the awakened onto the streets
time seduces, warns
october 15, 2021 – MORDECHAI GELDMANN Z”L Read Post »