Tel Aviv Diary - May 20-24 2019 - Karen Alkalay-Gut
May 20, 2019
when my father died my mother chased his sisters out of the house when they sat at the shiva chattering. she was so angry. and i was on the verge of that behavior today. all these friends wrote about Mira with all the same love i felt and i kept thinking they don't have the right to feel what i do . how silly of me, but i suddenly understand my parents. when i got the message this morning at 7 from Mira's daughter, i could not help but think of my father and how i watched him slowly slide into death until that blessed moment of the end of his suffering. It makes us hard to understand that others feel the same grief. Four workmen died yesterday dismantling a crane, and it is difficult to imagine the shock and anger and grief of the families, just as we find it difficult to get a grip on the lives of all the palestinians lost in the last four months. it doesn't help that their governments and our governments are at fault.
May 21, 2019 Double funerals today. the day was unusually hot and the cemeteries here have little shade. i drank bottle after bottle of water and still had to sit down half way through with a migraine. i don't get migraines and always thought i have great staying powers. suddenly i did not.
May 22, 2019 Will Bibi get his immunity for criminal prosecutions, together with the others, Yacob Litzman, Arieh Deri, Haim Katz, and i've suddenly forgotten his fifth crony? i'm pretty sure they'll figure something out. The slipperiness is pretty astounding. and here i spoke today to a class about why i write poetry - because i don't believe in narratives. any of them. so there.
there must have been many who thought i was mad. but i'm just angry at how stories have lied to to me for so long.
May 23, 2019
the heat the heat the heat - fires breaking out spontaneously, houses burning, the dryness in the air. madness. did you remember to drink? will you make it until tomorrow when it begins to break? and the politicians are getting away with murder - burning up the country. Will the demonstration on Saturday night make a difference? All they are asking is that politicians not be exempt from the law - We were at the museum of natural history today to collect our diplomas for finishing the course of this year's Israel Trail and we had a tour of the museum. Every time i am there i cannot believe that there is only a tiny replica of a dinosaur and no inkling of the concept of evolution. natural history? what did i say yesterday about making up stories? But in the middle of our tour i got a phone call. i had ordered groceries to arrive between 6-8, but at 4:30 i was informed that the ice cream was melting at my door. so i left the tour and raced home. it's only a ten minute walk and i was sped on by the thought of my favorite food disappearing, but it was hot, like exercising in a sauna. i don't recommend it. the ice cream was satisfying, however, May 24, 2019 We sit with the book of the family history of Patai on our laps - it is a big book - and the shiva goes on as all kinds of people talk about the past. the wonders of the woman who has departed. in this heat that few of us can remember, we think about better days,
