Some of you people don’t know how easy it is to die
I’ve had friend after friend slip by me
sometimes while I wasn’t even paying attention
and we were in the middle of an argument
There was a guy named Steve
years and years ago – a real queen in the old ways
almost unaware of it for a long time – and he
and I had a falling out over some other guy
both of us loved – and then he got leukemia
they say – before they even knew about AIDS –
And all the time I was thinking he was on the stage
off Broadway, playing in the Fantastiks
he was fighting for his life and we never got to make up.
You get in these fights with people you love
and figure they’ll come back into your life like a leitmotiv
But maybe it’s just that you wake up one night
from a dream and wonder where they’ve gone to. Or you see
someone on the street who looks just like they did
twenty years ago but it isn’t them or their kid or some transformation after surgery
I want you to know I’m not complaining – it’s kind of nice having a life
so filled with feeling, even if it does mean loss – and I’m only human – so I keep on
taking chances and making mistakes, and walking out on people I love
I may never see again because I’m pissed or tired or have
some other momentary commitment.
And anyway I know they’re inside me because they keep waking me up at night.
As one night I will remind you in your dreams of how we had it and didn’t
have it and maybe if you’d just said something…
from High Maintenance