MARTYRS

Sometimes I imagine I'm sitting with

that old schizophrenic cross-dresser Joan of Arc

and we're discussing what drives people

to lead others and what happens when you

lose that old charisma. She's not Jewish

and doesn't quite understand

why I am blaming her

for not getting through the witch trial.

She even tries using those cliches of Shaw on me.

"Don't think you can frighten me by telling me I'm alone

France is alone and God is alone

and what is my loneliness before

the loneliness of my country and my God?

"You gotta live with the people in the madhouse you're in --

wear what they wear, Joan,

I say, "And deny everything -

that's my motto. In the country of the deaf,

just say you're don't hear nothing.

Karen Alkalay-Gut

From The Love of Clothes and Nakedness (Sivan, 1999, 2003)